He eats only the finest of homemade roadkill jerky and produce stolen from the neighbour’s garden
Yes, he delicately chainsaws off only the finest shark carcass heads and air dries them on the roof of his car in the heat of the natural sun! Only the best natural produce for him! Prepared by nature!*
*may contain parasitic brain worms, weavels and maggots for an added protein boost!