Just out of curiosity, what does the perfect reply look like in the above scenario
Since even asking is an issue, my suggestion is to be a divination wizard with specilization in mind reading
I think in the above scenario it would be safe to assume it’s the “just talk about it” scenario. With something as simple as food falling apart the person will be more than capable of solving it themselves if they needed to.
The fact that the answer ends up being “you need to assume based on the context” demonstrates exactly what the other comments are saying. Nobody is a mind reader, and it’s not generally a good idea to expect someone else to assume the same things you do, especially if that other person didn’t experience it firsthand. Maybe it works for you, but it’s making things needlessly more complicated for other people
Something tells me there isn’t a perfect answer doe that person. “Someone asked me how they can support me, so now I don’t want help because that seems condescending” sounds like the kind of thing you get from someone who says they’re fine, but isn’t, and they’re mad you don’t already know why they’re not fine.
This is such a good question that it’s kind of blowing my mind.
First off, it’s actually a shit message to only include “my shawarma fell apart” with no other context. There’s not even punctuation! Like, give me some textual non-verbals I can pick up on.
Second, this is so typical of neuro-normies: send a message with no social cues and somehow expect the recipient to ace the response.
So what’s the ideal response? I dunno. I’d probably reply with something like “I know, right?! My butthole is so itchy right now. Could this day be any worse?”
An “emotion phase” mindset tends to expect you to know about their state and reacts badly if you don’t join them there.
A “solution focused” mindset can easily talk and not react badly about a misjudgement on your part.
So if you want to be safe, then your opening line should always presume the other person is in the emotional phase. The response will tell you if you’re right. And if you’re not right then the other person is in a position to negotiate without being upset about it.