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64 points
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had a friend of a friend offer me and my two friends a slice of pizza. before we could even finish bro pulled out the calculator app on his iphone 15 to determine we all needed to add him on venmo to send 94 cents each. next time i saw him he talked about taking cruise ships every summer

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you guys should hit him with hammers

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22 points

94 times

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In for a penny, in for a pounding

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that’s how the sigma affords the iPhone 15 and the cruise ships

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How do you think he paid for the cruises? That’s right, pizza money

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“friend”

I’d have just cracked up at the obvious absurdity of it

If he insisted, I’d have laughed harder and then left

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6 points

i would have told him to suck it and let that be the last time i ever saw him

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this is absolutely an overreaction, but my first thought was “wall”

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