dumb ( stupid ) : missing the sense in talk ( Sometimes get the sense when re-thought later )
I do most daily routines and has good relationship with known persons. But, the dumb feeling pulls me back ( eg: “not creating” new friends , not getting another job/getting out of comfort zone )
What do you “passively” do to overcome this ? Else , what are the active tasks you do?
Nobody will care if you are “dumber” than them. Listening more than you talk is an admirable quality. I don’t judge my friends on their intellect, it’s sometimes fun to have quick thinkers around but slow thinkers can be deep thinkers and sometimes see things in ways I miss.
So, in general no I don’t feel dumb around most people but neither do I feel like I am smart like some people.
You want to gain confidence, it sounds like, yes? Maybe build up some skill at small talk, use that. Most people aren’t walking around having deep conversations with everyone they meet. You can practice small talk at the grocery, at the park, anywhere you are waiting in line. Just have the really short conversations, get used to interacting.
Yes, I do small talk.
Sometimes I want to continue that relation. But, most times 1. I dont remember their face or parts of the talk 2. I just dont actively think about continuing ( Its like I have to put a remainder on that talk - quite dumb ? ) 3. They might be disinterested in the next time ( partly, I believe of silly way of expressing things )
If I understand you correctly what you are worried about is moving that into deeper communication when you want to, and recognizing when it’s appropriate to do that? I think that takes seeing the same people a lot. All the small conversations first. Mindfulness training, like yoga, or even sales training (you don’t have to use it to sell things to people) can help you stay focused and recognize conversation cues better.
Do you have untreated ADHD? You don’t have to answer that - just asking you to consider it because that’s what this sounds like, it can for sure masquerade as anxiety, too.
