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99 points
*

Bro, the genre’s called fantasy for a reason.

Why you gotta ruin my dream of finding someone who loves me for myself? Unrealistic though it might be…

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22 points

If that’s the same criteria you use for looking for that someone, and you proceed with an open and courageous heart: it won’t be a dream.

And I would say that we have general artistic conventions of depicting elements the previous commentor suggested: smell lines, meat in teeth, etc… Their absence from the scene leads me to believe the commentor’s interpretation is far from the artist’s intentions.

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16 points

I appreciate the heartfelt advice but I’m mostly just riffing.

My real problem is that staying home and playing video games is less work and more immediately gratifying than getting out and trying to meet someone, but I recognize that complaining about that just means I’m trying to have my cake and eat it too.

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1 point

Wouldn’t it be eat your cake and still have it? Typically you have cake before you eat it, but you don’t have cake after you eat it. So the eating would go first in the sentence, right? Unless the saying is that you want to have your cake after eating it. Either way you gotta use a word that implies the directional flow of time, because technically you do have cake for most of the duration that you’re eating it.

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9 points

The goblin swinging a club on the other hand…

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17 points

She doesn’t love you, you’re the first thing she could grab with a heart beat and two legs

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25 points

Beggars can’t be choosers.

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4 points
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Not true! She ate a monkey yesterday. …and she grabbed it before she ate it.

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1 point

Why is your dream a tiny filthy goblin? You can do better.

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82 points

Like a big filthy goblin?

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26 points

I am a big filthy goblin pretty much. A hobgoblin, if you will.

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14 points

Holding out for orc husbando myself.

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8 points

I think that might just be a hobgoblin?

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4 points

Yeah I don’t think I could go with someone who’s like 2 feet tall.

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7 points

Hey, that’s not fair to the goblin.

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