Iâm at a shitty point in my life where Iâm just close enough to rock bottom to smell it but far enough that I still have something to lose.
One thing I still have control over is what Iâm going to have for lunch. I decided on chicken legs. Iâm going to smoke them with Applewood and score the legs so they can hold bbq sauce. Iâm going to the store soon but donât have a favorite sauce, and Iâm looking for recommendations. What bbq sauce is best to cook onto the chicken legs?
One thing I learned, is that, most of the time, someone is only out of your league if you believe they are. I donât know you (beyond our little conversation here) or her (at all), but it sounds like you have a lot to offer. And, no, not giving her everything, but that part shows me that youâre emotionally available, or, at the very least, willing to be. Although, I donât know if I would recommend dating or pursuing a coworker, as it can lead to some very unpleasant situations.
Another thing Iâve learned, happiness and success are not actually linked to one another. I know several well-off to bumtasticlly rich people who, I think, everyone would categorize as super successful, and they are some of the most unhappy people. I also know rich people who are happy, and poor people who are happy, and poor people who are unhappy. My point is that money and success wonât make you happy.
Money makes life easier sometimes, but good friends (emphasis on the good), I think, add more happiness than a ton of money.
I think the BetterHelp thing is a wonderful place to start, even if you have to bend the truth a bit to get in. You deserve happiness.
Believe in yourself, and donât be afraid to be happyâthatâs one of the hardest things to do after a stint (no matter how long or short) of depression. Tell yourself every single day that you deserve to be happy and you are going to be happy today. Literally, write it on a stickynote on the mirror âI deserve to be happy, and I will be happy todayâ and read it out loud (even as a whisper) every morning. Maybe add a phone reminder to remind you of this fact throughout the day.
I feel like I just donât know how to impress her. Part of me says I shouldnât have to try so hard that Iâm not acting like myself, and the other part of me says that I need to be an exceptional person to stand out among the other men she might meet.
I think youâre right about money not equaling happiness. I never wanted to be a millionaire, i just want enough to entertain my hobbies occasionally.
As far as it being a bad idea to date a coworker- i know itâs not great but I donât think sheâs going to work at my job for much longer. Still Iâm aware the consequences of dating a coworker is immediate site reassignment and likely a pay cut. Love isnât free though.
Part of me says I shouldnât have to try so hard that Iâm not acting like myself, and the other part of me says that I need to be an exceptional person to stand out among the other men she might meet.
Most women dont want to be impressed and the ones that do arent worth it. What many that are worth the time want is just to be treated like a person, respected for what they can do and bring to the table and what their strengths are. Just be yourself, and honest (well maybe not too honest) but professional. If it happens it happens, dont force it. But personally, she likely has boundaries with with work. Dudes can often have flings with co-workers but if a woman does it, its becomes a stigma and can affect their career in a big way. Its like the saying âyou fuck one goat and you are a goat fucker for lifeâ. So you gotta respect that and dont shit where you eat and if you do, never tell a goddam soul but she would need to make the first pass in my book.
I think youâre right about money not equaling happiness. I never wanted to be a millionaire, i just want enough to entertain my hobbies occasionally.
From experience. Hes right. See my other comment.
Also, wast this thread about Sweet Baby Rays?
Yeah this thread was about bbq sauce in general. I donât really like sweet baby rays. When i was a kid my wicked step mom made shredded chicken and drowned it in sweet baby rays bbq sauce. I had to eat a bowl full of it. It was so disgusting that it ruined the whole brand for me even 10 years later.
Yeah, thatâs a hard one. On one hand, we always want to be who we think she wants us to be when weâre first dating, but on the other hand, this isnât sustainable. Eventually, our true selves come out, leading to statements like âyouâre not the man I started datingâ or whatnot and it could lead to a breakup. Iâm of the belief that if someone doesnât like me for me, then she doesnât deserve to have me. That said, however, thereâs nothing wrong with having (safe and respectful) fun as we wait for the one.
If the job is temporary and finding another job is relatively easy, the risk is minimal. If the job isnât temporary, but itâs not the career you want, the risk is higher but not high. If the job is in the field you want to career in, the risk is high. Of course, if the consequences of dating a coworker is basically termination, they (your employers) donât need to know. I think itâs unethical to date your subordinate or your supervisor/manager, but I donât see anything ethically wrong with dating a coworker.
Honestly, dude. We gotta make this life count and, sometimes, that means taking calculated risks (like dating a coworker), and sometimes it means playing it safe (like not risking reassignment). You can conduct a risk analysis (be brutally honest with yourself), and decide if itâs worth pursuing. I fell in love with my best friend (stupid move, I know). I sat on it as long as I could. Eventually, I was starting to see the world in unsaturated colors. I did a risk analysis on asking her out with the potential of losing my best friend. I was determined that I wouldnât allow this to completely destroy our friendship, and finally built the courage to do ask her out. She said no. And it was super awkward for a week or so. But I kept being her friend. She changed her mind to âIâll think about itâ. Shoot, Iâll take that! A week or so later we gave it a shot. She fell in love a week after that, and weâve been together since. These things can happen, but theyâre the exception. The thing is, even if we donât realize weâre doing this, weâre all looking for our One, but are all super cautious of one another, trying our best to guard our hearts. This causes rifts to grow between us, and we go from potential friends to âjust coworkersâ. Seriously, I see this going both ways and theyâre both equally plausible, so I truly donât know which to recommend :( All I can say is to run the risk analysis and determine whether this is a risk youâre willing to take, and I can also say that whichever you do decide, know that I support it and have got your back as best as an internet stranger can.
