What words, phrases or signs do you use and how do you get your partner’s attention?
My spouse and I lived in a bunch of countries over the years. We speak Quebec French, English, and Spanish, as well as a smattering of Chinese, Bulgarian, Korean, and a few odds and ends here and there.
We basically speak whatever we think people around us won’t understand. Very colloquial Quebec French in non-French-speaking countries, Chinese around white people, Bulgarian around non-white people, or even a cryptic mix of everything when we’re not completely sure.
We figure anyone who understands is probably someone we want to know… Hasn’t happened very often, but it does happen. So far we weren’t saying anything overly embarrassing when we got caught, but we sure as hell have no filter between us because of this!
I’ve taught my husband to speak a bit of Japanese, but we don’t use it this way because that’s extremely rude.
I wouldn’t say we speak in people’s faces, but we make comments to each other about random stuff. I would never say something rude about somebody in their faces, but my spouse might go, “Can we go back to the hotel, I really need to take a shit” or something silly and unfiltered like that.
That’s probably a cultural thing, isn’t it? In diverse areas, people don’t expect to understand what they hear others say, so there’s no “Speak ___; we’re in ___” culture.
Definitely an American thing. Wide swaths of the country have issues with any kind of diversity.
I’d say it’s more of a context thing. If you’re hanging out in a group of people chatting together and you code switch to speak to someone so nobody else can understand, that’s rude. If you’re just speaking to someone in another language on your own, nobody cares (except xenophobic bigots).
I love those videos where people are caught trying to have a private conversation by someone who speaks an unexpected language! Also it’s shocking to me how many people loudly speak common dialects of Chinese and don’t expect anyone to follow… literally over a billion humans can understand Mandarin, someone is listening.
Haha, I’ve caught plenty of Chinese speakers having what they presume are private conversations in my presence, and sometimes even about me. People just automatically assume non-Asians can’t speak Chinese, even when these non-Asians live in China.
If I tell my partner that something drains the color out of a room, she knows that whomever I’m talking to is a bigot/phobe and we leave. More often than not though, she’ll ask me who it is and tell them off.
Well, sometimes she is a bit overprotective, once she punched someone who wasn’t respecting my pronouns LOL.
Ha! Our trick is that we’re never with company. We are very boring homebodies.
I think in this context it just means “when around other people, generally in some group function, like a party or reunion.”
It was a sarcastic joke, like I don’t understand that other people are “company.”
My wife knows that if I say “Honey, I need to do that thing with my butt” she knows I have to poop, with everyone else listening blissfully unaware.
Ok but don’t use it in Canada I can’t risk people learning what it means around here
My wife and I have a couple of terms that we frequently use.
- SET - “South Eastern Twat”, used to describe a pretend-farmer, with gilet, flatcap and Landrover, who are so frequent in this part of England. We used to live in a more down-to-earth part of the country, so have allergic reaction to the stealth-wealth and snootiness you find down here.
- “There’s no need for buttering the pan” - a description for ovulation days, when my wife gets quite randy :)
- ALTHAB - “At Least They’ve Had a Bath”, which we use as a short-hand for "the kids had baths yesterday, won’t need one today and therefore, if we push through, we can get them to bed early and might have some calm time together, in front of the TV, playing a boardgame or whatever is required to reconnect.
- HPS - “High Pressure Sex”, a joke used to get us both to relax about those moments when you feel like you ought to have sex (you finally have a night away or whatever), but neither of you can be bothered (too tired, too stressed etc.).
