111 points
*

Just wait until you look into French numbers.

How different languages say 97:

🇬🇧: 90+7 (ok, there is some jank in English numbers - 13-19 are in line with the Germanic pronunciation, i.e. pronounced “right to left”, as a weird hold-over from the more Germanic Old English)

🇪🇸: 90+7

🇩🇪: 7+90

🇫🇷: 4x20+10+7

And if you think that’s bad, the Danes actually make the French look sane…

🇩🇰: 7+(-½+5)x20

Even Danes generally don’t really know why their numbers are like that, they just remember and go along with it.

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56 points

You know everytime your mention French number, there is always belgian or Swiss who will tell you :

🇧🇪🇨🇭: 90+7

☝️🤓

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8 points

please… french swiss…

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33 points

what the actual fuck is wrong with you, denmark?

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19 points

…whats not?

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9 points

Cope hagen?

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1 point

Aebleskiver.

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22 points

While learning Danish I figured out that’s just the arcane incantation for the number. It’s language juju, and you just have to know that it be like it do. Yes, it’s syv og halvfems, but the reason behind it doesn’t matter anymore. The rest of the double digit numbers are a mess as well; 30 is tredive (three tens in old norse) but starting with 50 it’s this weird score (20) and half-to-score system.

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3 points

When I first started learning my brain was desperately trying to make heads or tails of it and rationalize it somehow. And then I realized that was stupid, abandoned reason, and now I just utter these backwards ass numbers and we all nod and everyone is happy lol. Language is weird.

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16 points

https://youtu.be/s-mOy8VUEBk?si=1dudvGSjUd9VI11D

🇩🇰🫡

It’s not easy running an isenkramstornunung when nobody remembers what anything is called

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6 points

An absolute classic that I watch every single time. Kamelåså!

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2 points

I don’t know what he gave me, but it was wrong 🤷🏻‍♂️

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5 points

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

https://piped.video/s-mOy8VUEBk?si=1dudvGSjUd9VI11D

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I’m open-source; check me out at GitHub.

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10 points

I can’t stop giggling about the Danish way of saying that. Like, I don’t even understand how that’s 90? LMAO.

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7 points

That’s not real. I refuse to believe that.

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13 points

It is, but we just say seven and half fives these days. Everybody knows the twenty are implied…

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5 points
*

I think Finnish would be

🇫🇮: 9•10+7

Nine-tens seven

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10 points

Where do you think nine-ty in English comes from?

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2 points
*

I think it comes from nine-tens. But if you check, that commenter didn’t write it so.

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2 points
*

Same for Japanese

🇯🇵: 9•10+7

九(kyuu) 十(juu) 七(nana)

Also, similar to English, 20 does not follow the pattern but instead has its own word. (Still written as 2•10 though)

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3 points
2 points

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

This guy doesn’t like the French way.

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I’m open-source; check me out at GitHub.

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1 point
Deleted by creator
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1 point

Meanwhile in CJK languages we just chill and say 9 x 10 + 7. Why doesn’t everyone do that?

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2 points

I guess “ninety” likely stems from “nine tens”, so I guess English isn’t far off

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97 points

“Je voudrais un baguette” I once asked in a parisian boulangerie. I don’t think anyone has looked at me with the same level of disgust before as the older lady selling the breads.

“Voilà, une baguette.”, the “une” flying through me like an icicle.

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85 points

“Stupid fucking foreigner thinking my bread has a dick…”

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14 points

Tucke Carlso liked your comment

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9 points

Why does he look like someone just shoved a vacuum hose up his ass and turned on the vacuum.

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43 points

I remember standing in line for crepes in Le Havre, I just had my first year of French in school and I was practicing how to order in my head, nervously repeating “un crepe avec sucre”, and killed myself over not remembering the gender of crepe. So it’s finally my turn in line and I order nervously (I am 13 years old) and they reply with “pancake with sugar, no problem” and I’m just like 😭

Somehow people not even giving you a chance to practice your language skills is awful

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17 points

Damn French, une crêpe and a pancake are not the same thing!

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9 points
*

“Jay parlay France-says tray bee-en! Jaytude France-says pour treys anss in laycole!”

I was in Quebec, and the locals kept trying to talk to me in French. I can technically understand French, but not at those speeds. I only had to say that phrase once to anyone, and they immediately switched to English and begged me to not speak French again. If you sound like Peggy Hill attempting to speak French, then you’ve nailed this phrase.

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5 points

Québécois is a whole other can of worms.

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5 points

Seriously. It’s pretty discouraging and off-putting. Although, when I was in the Aquitaine I don’t think I got any of that.

… Maybe it’s because they remember being under English management and don’t want to give anyone an excuse?

I do find the French have very little ability to understand their language if it’s getting mangled.

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2 points

I think it’s just taking the easy, accommodating and safe route mostly.

A friend of mine taught himself German for years (he lives in Canada) and then, eager to put his knowledge into practice, went to Germany for three weeks. Whenever he attempted to speak German, people would reply in English - out of niceness.

He was so depressed and discouraged, he went home, vowed to never speak German again, taught himself Russian, went to Russia for a semester, people there were happy to speak Russian with him. He even met his future wife there, so it’s a happy end I guess.

I don’t remember if I ever heard him speak German (after all, he vowed and was still very hurt), but if his German was just half as good as his Russian, he should have had no problem with being understood.

James, in case you read this, St. Petersburg was freaking awesome and you freaking rock.

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15 points

Baguettes are distinctly penis shaped, so the French are just wrong about that.

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4 points
*

Does this mean i’m gay ?

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8 points

Not in itself but it is another data point for the theory. I suggest testing in controlled conditions many times despite it being a pain in the ass.

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3 points
*

Just wait to learn how we gender “dick” and “cunt” in French (hint: it’s not the way you’d think).

It’s the one thing people who aren’t fluent in a gendered language usually fail to grasp: Grammatical gender is in most situations completely separate from social gender. The grammatical gender in “une bite” has absolutely no social function and is not in any way contradictory to its traditionally opposite social gender.

Ironically it’s also why using the wrong grammatical gender feels so wrong/unnatural to a native speaker (not that it’s an excuse to be a dick to non-native speakers ofc): gender is not just “a social concept attached to a word”, it is an inherent property of the word that matters fundamentally to sentence structure and so misusing it throws everything off-balance. Francophones will much sooner accept someone close to them being trans than baguettes being male, and this is not a hyperbole.

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11 points

Assigning gender to words is fucking stupid and adds unnecessary extra complexity to the language without any gaining any additional meaning. Personally I have no time for it.

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4 points

My solution is replacing all les/la/l’ with a vaguely sounding “ll” sound.

I get the odd scathing look.
And occasionally someone will stop the conversation, and ask me to use the correct word, fully away of the shit I’m trying to pull.

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2 points

The old lady was a huge asshole. That’s the problem. And being in Paris.

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65 points

Tfw the washing machine is gender fluid

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32 points

I believe women sometimes use them to aid in the release of gender fluid.

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14 points

I tried this it doesn’t work :(

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6 points

Gotta use the dryer apparently

Why did my ex know this

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18 points

You can use gender powder too

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16 points

I use gender pods.

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6 points

I hear that you can eat those.

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63 points

Me speaking to a French guy last week -

“We’ve just been the the musée de l’automobile in Mulhouse”

“Sorry, where?”

“Mulhouse”

“Where?”

“Mulhouse”

"Aaaaaah I see! It’s pronounced [pronounces Mulhouse *exactly the same FUCKING way I just pronounced it]

😂 Happens very regularly

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40 points

Just because your ears can’t hear a difference doesn’t mean that there is none. I deal with this a lot when Japanese ask me for help and can’t differentiate between certain sounds

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8 points
*

Yeah in Japanese a few consonant sounds like ‘r’ and ‘l’ sounds or ‘h’/‘f’ or ‘s’/‘th’ or ‘z’/‘ð’ are basically heard as the same (an American ‘r’ might even sound like a weird ‘w’ to Japanese), and English has around 17 to 24 distinctive vowel sounds generally (based on quality) while Japanese has 5 plus vowel length and tones (pitch accent). As a result of the phonetic differences between the languages, it can be hard to hear or recreate the differences in sound quality (especially when it’s Japanese on the speaking/listening end, but Americans also sure have a terrible time trying to make Japanese sounds like the “n” or “r” or “ch”/“j” or “sh”/“zh” or “f” or “u”. they just perceive it as the same as the closest sounds in English)

In my experience, only God can hear the difference between Polish “dż” and “dź” / “cz” and “ć” (and the others)…

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2 points

English also doesn’t have gemination (small tsu) which does make a difference in Japanese as well. Hearing that in very quick Japanese for words I don’t know can still be different. Same with vowel length. Once you know the word, it doesn’t matter as much how someone says it, but when it’s new vocab and the speaker is very quick, it can be tough.

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1 point

Wait, how does ch/j or sh differ from the English sounds? And what words use zh? I don’t think I’ve seen that romaji

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1 point
*

I’m speak some Polish and dż is like job, cz is like check, sz is like shop, idk how rest is pronounced in other words

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27 points

No offense intended since I’m fully incapable of pronouncing tons of English words properly (fuck “squirrel” specifically), but as a Frenchman who has lived near Mulhouse for a few years and interacted with a lot of foreign students, what you said probably wasn’t close to being the exact same as that guy

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5 points

For all languages I have learned so far ‘squirrel’ is really hard to pronounce for non-native speakers.

English: squirrel

French: écureuil

And the germans kill it with: Eichhörnchen

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3 points

American English - SKWOOOOOORL

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3 points

Ignore the letters in English, it helps just as much as ignoring the letters in French.

Squirrel is pronounced like skwir-rel.

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3 points

He he he … No. It’s closer to skwurl.

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1 point

If it makes you feel better, most Americans can’t pronounce squirrel either.

“Skwerl”

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3 points

“Shit colored tree rat” is also an acceptable pronunciation.

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1 point

Or Aluminum or Li-berry.

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13 points

To add to what that other person said, when you grow up your brain gets used to hearing the sounds common to your accent and you can even stop hearing the difference between certain sounds when someone speaks your language with a different accent!

In Quebec french there’s a big difference between the sound of “pré” and “prè” that doesn’t exist with some of the french accents in France and they’re unable to recreate that difference and might even be unable to hear it!

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5 points

Yep. I took a language psych class in college, and we saw some examples of this that were crazy, especially being one of the people that can’t hear the difference.

I can’t remember the example, but just imagine somebody saying the same word to you twice and then a third party telling you the first person just said two different words.

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1 point

points at danish vowel noises

most indecipherable I’ve ever heard in my life.

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4 points
*

“Pré” and “prè” consistently sound distinctly different in most, dare I say almost all, accents in mainland France. The difference is the same with basically all words spelled with those vowels. “Ê” also sounds like a long “è” in most words for most people. “e” also sounds like “é” when before silent letters except for “t”, and sounds like “è” when before multiple letters or before “x” or before silent “t” or if it’s the last sound except for open monosyllabic words, and it sounds special or is silent elsewhere. “-ent” is always silent too. Obviously doesn’t apply to “en/em”, also special exception for “-er/-es”.

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1 point

https://youtu.be/W9c38ck4AuE

This video wouldn’t exist with the Quebecois accent because the three words wouldn’t be considered homonyms.

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52 points

Female, and I am sure there hides a boomer joke here

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6 points

I’m countering with a lave-linge which is masculine, now where’s the boomer joke?

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