Freesiana
Cyberpunk 2077 Rebel path Cello version
Cliche as it sounds, my ex. It took so many years and therapy to understand that i was dating person who was very manipulative and perhaps had some kind of personality disorder or something else. My ex sometimes penetraded me while i was sleeping by fingers or penis. Pressuring to anal sex even if i didnt want it, otherwise they would gaslight me or giving me silent treatments if i wasnt agreeing, pressuring to make videos to pornhub because we had money issues while i was grieving my friend’s death, sometimes “forgotting” protection and other things. Relationship ended because they were cheating me with a friend. I wasnt always good person to her cause i started to have anger issues, social anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts and i am pretty sure that these issues begin with those actions. They tried gaslight me that i caused the cheating, but i am so fucking glad that i trusted myself and end that relationship. It will take loooooong time to heal from the trauma that they caused and trust issues, but i am slowly getting better. If anyone has going throught same, please just please leave and love yourself, it will get better.♥️
I really liked netrunner and throwing knives the most. Also gorilla arms build was fun too.
Im not here This isnt happening Im not here, im not here.
How to disappear completely-Radiohead
Such a simple lyrics, but it resonate with me
👀
My ex. I had weird feeling from the start, because they wanted to spent time with me 24/7. my ex was so superkind, helpful and always giving me compliments and i quess i got hooked on that cause they felt different being overly nice. I will not share whole the story, but when i was with them, i started to notice patterns. So shortly my ex sexually abused/raped when i was sleeping, this happened atleast 3 times. And their excuse was sorry, thought you were sleeping. They were pressing to do other stuff too, i quess you can probably quess, but if i declined i got silent treatments and they were moody and annoyed. When my ex was pressuring to do videos on Pornhub(i declined ofc) i started realise that this is so fuckin sick, i started to have insomnia, depression, getting angry and started to have social anxety. Relationship ended when i discovered that they were cheating +6months with their friend without protection ofc, and all their excuses were blaming me for being moody, angry and suicidal, yeah after all that i think not many women will be sane. They werent sorry or take accountability. I wasted 10 years because i was too stupid to realise that that wasnt love. I still feel like a idiot. Therapy has been huge help for me and i know that it will take years to recover. I shouldve listened that gut feeling because i ended be in relationship with a sosiopath or something similar.
