PropagandaIsUseless [he/him]
It’s been an odd week. I’m in my 6th month of a “sabbatical” from work. I couldn’t take my old, cushy corporate job, it was killing me inside, so I quit.
I was in a bad car wreck last year, and although I’m physically fine, I still have the car and want to rebuild it. It was special to me.
I started my sabbatical with enough money to live off of for 6 months and enough to rebuild the car. Now I just have enough money to cover rent for a while.
I’ve been dreading it, but I know it’s time to look for jobs again. I hate the idea, since even ‘cushy’ jobs have genuinely destroyed my sanity before. But, I’m glad I’m finally talking to people here. I’ve been socially isolated before the pandemic, but I want to connect with people more, and I think that’s my key for survival, whatever bullshit I have to do to make rent.
The only thing that may be an issue is highly specific software, and games. Over the past year, whenever I start new stuff, I always get a Linux-compatible program/workflow, so it’s gradually becoming a non-issue. Overwatch and Beat Saber are the only things tying me to Windows now.
I’m in a similar position as OP, and I really appreciate what you wrote.
I tried to ‘escape’ by doing part time stuff and tried to start my own business, and it didn’t get off in time. Now, I have to go back, defeated, eventually desperate for a job, financially set back a year or two.
I know I’ve grown a lot as a person in the past 4 years, but I feel like I’m just getting older and going nowhere.
Ya know, I’ve been wondering about going “fuck it” and escaping to the promised land on an ESL visa. I don’t have good family here, but I do have a dog and a classic Miata that I care about.
It’s a weird conflict, having a vehicle that is so fun, while wishing death to cars as a means of transport. Just let me have a yearly scenic cruise or a track day, and trains the other 363 days.
I’d like to add that a common symptom of burnout is the exhaustion of empathy. When you no longer have the energy to care for yourself, you cannot care much about other people either.
Take care of yourself, comrade. <3