TAYRN

Mate, if you’ve met an ice cream truck driver who’d just let you walk away with all their goods and a promise that you’d pay them back, I need to know where you live. I want in on that.

hey, gimme a cart, i’ll go roam around and sell these before they spoil, you keep 80 or 90% of the money when i come back with the empty cart.

Tell you what: I’ll give you a time traveling device and the ability to jump into any fictional world that has ever existed.

Find me one where they would accept that “deal” if you didn’t pay up front.

If you do this, you’re going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater.

Fun fact: you can just pirate stuff.

You don’t have to make semantic arguments to justify to yourself why it’s actually moral or not technically stealing or whatever. You can just pirate stuff.

people always used to tell me that the president of the US was telling lies, but now that he isn’t president, it’s quieted down… This must be because…

You’re almost there, my friend.

everyone usually tells me that the news I choose to read is lying to me! This must be because…

Come on, buddy, you got this.

(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )

So what’s really funny is: I am very drunk, and I have no idea how I made that comment.

… Is it me? Am I the “special character”? (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)