Surely Mr. Romney, who doesn’t have to be introduced to voters, would peel off enough Republican votes to win, probably by a lot.
Yes, Romney is famously super popular and beloved by all.
Does he want to aggressively raise the minimum wage, bolster public education, strengthen unions, expand transgender rights and enact progressive tax reform? Probably not.
Oh yeah, there’s definitely a chance he supports those things. You can definitely use the qualifier “probably” here.
Besides all the other things, isn’t Romney retiring from politics? The guy’s only a few years younger than Biden.
Romney is most known for losing to Obama, why would anyone think he’s a winner
expand transgender rights
binders full of trans men
double entendre referring to romney saying he was progressive and had “binders full of women” to consider for positions, this is satirically positing he tries to court ‘woke’ voters by having binders full of trans men, the double part being because trans men who either do not want top surgery or haven’t had it yet often wear binders
joke 2 being ‘expand’ is used in quoted text, and as a spoiler this section has to be expanded
joke 3 is by over explaining the jokes so detailed that they are no longer funny, but so detailed that it loops around and becomes funny again
joke 4 being that it didn’t actually become funny during joke 3 so this is an anti-joke
joke 5 being that the anti-joke is so bad, it has actually become funny by this point:::
Joke 6 is it wouldn’t be a quality hexbear comment if the reader didn’t have to scroll at least a little
![[Not the Onion] Aaron Sorkin: How I Would Script This Moment for Biden and the Democrats(hexbear.net)](https://hexbear.net/pictrs/image/8163fe61-5bc7-4b34-94fb-5514af4e8ce2.png){kind=link}