Cross posted from: https://sh.itjust.works/post/22885386
Not always the best thing either. My dad willed my brother and I all the stuff he had collected over the years. He was like a hoarder, except for stuff that might have had value, and the house wasn’t a mess or anything. But he collected so many things- thousands of LPs (mostly movie soundtracks and classical music), CDs (the same) and DVDs, hundreds of books, dozens of movie posters, countless stamps, coins, collectible cigarette cards, an extensive collection of Charlie Chaplin and King Kong memorabilia (know anyone who wants a life-sized porcelain bust of Charlie Chaplin?), about 20 walking sticks of various types… he even started collecting sheet music at the end.
Some of it was worth money, a lot of it wasn’t. I sold as much as I could on eBay and a flea market stall, plus garage sales. A lot of it ended up either being given away or, eventually, just dropped off at thrift stores because no one wanted them. I have kept a few precious things, plus the Kong and Chaplin collections because I want those to go to the right person or organization (and I want my mother to agree), and gotten rid of the rest.
I did do one smart thing- right after he died, I told my brother (who was not going to be around to handle any of this with me, so he didn’t inherit any of it) to just take whatever he wanted before he left and he agreed to let me handle the rest. Most of the stuff he took was valuable, but that’s fine. He has no kids. It will go to my daughter.
Anyway, they were not my collections. I didn’t care about most of them. I didn’t really want to end up with them, but I felt an obligation to do so. And I didn’t want to just throw it all out since some of it really was valuable. In the end, I don’t regret doing it, but I wish I was given more of an idea of what I would be dealing with.
I guess what I’m saying is that if you do write your will, talk to the people you’re giving any non-monetary inheritance to and see if they’re willing to handle it all. I think I am lucky in that I really don’t feel an obligation to keep any of this stuff as a memorial to my father’s legacy or anything. Other than things I personally care about for my own reasons, I’m fine with getting it all out of my life. I can see a lot of people’s kids being surprised about what they’ve been left to deal with.
What a gargantuan task! And you got through it. Without unfortunate hangups (“Goodwill doesn’t want this old napkin but how can I just throw it away?”)
Someone on NPR managed to keep just one thing from their husband’s passing, a favorite t-shirt. But even a dirty napkin I’d understand, really anything is understandable in the face of a big loss.
So, I missed some steps then:
1 - think about your stuff
2 - check if next of kin can handle stuff
3 - make sure they can handle the stuff
4 - make a will for, at least, your money
Good call :)
