The first one. There are a few exceptions, but overwhelmingly, incels are dudes who act like they are owed sex and call women “females” and then are surprised when none want to sleep with them
For one thing, there are plenty of female incels. For another, every male incel I’ve met does not hate women. I game online and have quite a few of them for friends. I think that conflating ‘incel’ and ‘hates women’ is morally repugnant.
The English language actually has the perfect word for what you want to say, and that’s ‘mysogynist’. Use your words correctly.