I get suggestions online like do my hair, makeup, etc but as a first time girl I really don’t know where to even start, so I end up doing nothing and looking like a hag and im tired of being treated like crap
I don’t think you look like a hag, although I understand that thought because sometimes I think I look like a hag too. Facial dysphoria is a bitch.
If you want some tips for makeup, I recommend starting with mascara because it’s really easy to get the hang of. All you have to do is hold it by your eyelash and blink, and maybe wiggle it a tiny bit to get it on better. Eyeliner is trickier to put on so don’t feel bad if it takes you a while to get the hang of it.
We’re trans. Sadly people hate us just for existing. The person who said that you look like a hag and the people who liked it are just transphobic trolls. Don’t give any value to the words that they say.
The people who mind don’t matter and the people who matter don’t mind.
(I first heard that quote from Eric Andre, I’m not sure who the original author is, but I find it very useful.)
You’re going to have a vocal minority that hates you regardless of anything you do, and they will find whatever insecurities you have and dig at them, because they know it hurts.
I see a ton of people here, giving you advice and support. It’s so easy to forget about all of those positive voices when the few hurtful voices are so loud and so very painful. Try not to focus on those, and focus on the more numerous voices cheering for you.
I don’t have any advice for your looks. I’m a cis gendered straight guy with about as opposite of hair and build as you as can be hahah. I think listening to some of the other great advice here about focusing on one thing at a time, small changes, etc will go a long way. Once you build a few things you feel good about, your confidence will grow and that will carry you beyond what any advice will.
Good luck, my friend.
People online will also upvote blatant racism and 9/11 truthers and shit. I’m eternally grateful communities like this exist where we can talk about how fucken stupid people can be, and all feel a little less crazy. Who the fuck seriously says “hag” anyways? I’m glad I’m not that dummy.
You’re beautiful by the way, I’d be intimidated to talk to you irl hahaha
“it got upvotes so I guess it’s true” ? Honey, if this weren’t so painful and personal you’d know exactly how ridiculous that is. The idiocy of the person who insulted you is matched only by their sliminess. They’re a slug, and deserve to be squashed.
Moving on to practical suggestions: if you can, get yourself to a lash bar. Don’t go crazy, choose a reasonable length, and let an expert stick them on, individual lashes that last for weeks if you’re gentle washing your face. While you wait, look around at all the cis women and remember they too are doing this to meet conventional gender norms for women. So conventional in fact that it’s one of the first ways little kids make their drawing a girl: add eyelashes.
You have good skin, good hair (follow others’ suggestions for making the most of it) and a lovely mouth. Your nose is a little large but a really nice shape, and your cheeks are pretty. Your eyebrows are fine and won’t overbalance your eyes if you get your lashes done. If you can’t, you can use mascara to bring out your own lashes even if you don’t wear any other makeup.
