Yeah happened to me too in the late 30s. This is the real midlife crisis, trying to come to terms with existential nihilism, it’s not buying a fucking red convertible…
I was dealing with some pretty intense nihilism after my beloved dog passed away. I had thoughts like “Why put effort into anything when in 100/1000/10000 years everything I love and care about will be dead, gone, and forgotten?” It’s a terrible philosophy to have and live with, incredibly depressing. I was able to escape mine through meditation with some chemical assistance. Realized that just because things don’t last forever doesn’t mean they don’t have meaning. The fact that we’re alive and conscious, experiencing things everyday, means our lives have value. The cosmic odds of us existing here and now are staggering, we’re so lucky to be alive! So, to me the value is in the experiences, in the day to day.
(early 30s, also bought sports car)
Why put effort into anything when in 100/1000/10000 years everything I love and care about will be dead, gone, and forgotten?
I had a slightly different question: what’s the point of doing anything if it’ll end? In other words: anything achievable is not worth doing.
I haven’t really found an answer to this, it just stopped bothering me, though one potential answer was: happiness and wisdom. Wisdom is unachievable because there’s always more to understand, and happiness is not a stable state since we’re hardwired not to be perpetually happy because we wouldn’t do anything if we were. Thus those two things can be chased always, they don’t end, and then you die. After that you have no more problems.
(Mid 20s, don’t like driving)
I have gone through the same thought process, and I like to think of it as positive nihilism. The fact that everything is temporary and nothing really matters means that meaning & importance are created in our minds. That can help to give yourself permission to spend your limited time on things that (for whatever reason) matter to YOU.
Edit: early 40s here. I got a fun fast car in my mid 20s. I plan to get another one in a few years, but my mid life crisis involved building a koi pond in my back yard and getting more family pets in general. It helps that I turned 40 in 2020 when there was a lot of time to spend around the house. It’s totally a “me” thing, and I love it every day.
I tried to lean into that as well, something like nothing matters so you can do whatever makes you happy! I couldn’t quiet get it to work for myself, but I know several very happy people living by that philosophy.
The koi pond + pets solution definitely sounds like the right move! Having pets during the pandemic kept me sane.
If you don’t mind me asking, what kind of fun car did you get and what are you thinking of getting? I’m a big car guy and love hearing about people’s cars :D
