For example workplace harrasment by women towards males like touching or groping being ignored because the victim is male but if it where to happen to a woman by a male the male would be fired

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69 points
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doing oppositely gendered activities.

my girlfriend can change the oil in her car and lifts weights?

cool. healthy.

i can sew my own clothes and bake?

Weird. Creepy.

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39 points

i can sew my own clothes and bake?

Weird. Creepy.

Hard disagree. I wish I knew how (and had the time to) make my own clothes. And, who doesn’t love baked goods? These both sound awesome.

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13 points

“Girly” things are ok as a career, but not a hobby.

If you’re a professional Tailor, it’s a respectable job that people seek you out for, but if you just like to sew…

Chefs are predominantly male, but if you’re a guy that just likes to cook, “what are you, a housewife?”

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8 points

I guess it’s cultural, or regional, or just who you spend time around. Among my male friends, most of whom are straight and married with children, I don’t think any of them would even blink an eye at either of these things.

I do have colleagues from other cultures and US regions (US Italian, Central America, rust belt) who I’d bet would act the way you describe. I’m not jealous of that aspect of those cultures.

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7 points

For sure, and I appreciate that.

They’re great skills, and if you watch a couple YouTube videos on making your own clothes, you’ll be shocked at how simple it is and how little time it takes.

I feel very comfortable sewing and baking, this is just the best answers I have for the question.

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3 points

You can find a used machine to practice with and start by fixing and altering.

Local indy sewing shops that I’ve encountered have been happy to advise and some have open sewing days.

I fix my outdoors gear and clothes routinely, often with hand-stitching, just takes practice.

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2 points

Thankfully, I’m not completely void of any sewing skill. I can hem pants, or repair some outdoor gear, as you mentioned. But, I don’t think I could make a complete shirt that didn’t look homemade.

I have a massive wingspan:weight ratio, so I always have to choose between sleeves being long enough on a shirt that’s 4x too big, or sleeves that end 3 inches short on a shirt that mostly fits. If I could make my own shirts and hoodies from scratch, it would be great. I just have too many other hobbies, and not enough time to dedicate to learning a new one right now.

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1 point

even just knowing enough to not consider clothes ruined when a button pops out or a tear forms would be nice

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33 points

Yeah, I was in Costco buying new cookie sheets and an old lady said it was so nice that I was helping out. Lady, they’re for me, I’m the baker here.

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It took decades before Hasbro Easy Bake Ovens were marketed in the US in Yellow and Black rather than Mattel Barbie™️ Fuchsia Pink (💕) which is still the standard in US department stores. Curiously gender neutral colors started from demand in Sweden and expanded outward.

In the nineties, Barbie was built like only a select few Playboy Bunnies (Jessica Rabbit’s dimensions are physiologically impossible. A robot, maybe) and Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader action figures were ripped like He-Man (or soon-to-be Governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger).

Gender roles are (to me) extremely weird.

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1 point

Eh, if she’s old that’s excusable. Expectations were different back then

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13 points

No one thinks it’s creepy for a guy to sew and bake.

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42 points

no one you know.

that’s nice, really.

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6 points

Anyone who would think that would not be worth my time. I would never give them that power over me.

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12 points

I lift and I sew. Fuck that noise, you do you.

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8 points

You gotta learn to sew when you’re constantly ripping your shirt with each flex.

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10 points

I don’t think that’s exactly true. As a woman I’ve had situations where I was questioned even when I knew exactly what I was talking about just because it was a traditionally male activity.

Yes, I know what type of battery I want for my car. Yes, I know it’s uncommon, I checked if you had it in your website before I came here. Yes, I know how to install it and I don’t want to pay you to do it. Shut up and take my money so I can leave.

I have several stories like this. In home renovation stores men that work there are always super opinionated on the problem that I’m trying to solve. I’m just looking for the supplies I want, I didn’t ask for opinions.

It doesn’t help that I’m small and look young, but still they should mind their own business.

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6 points

No, it is. I had women joke and say “what are you, gay?”, then laugh when they find out I can sew. Have stitched up many a stuffed animal. The guys ask me where did I learn that?

“The army”

Oh, that’s cool.

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1 point

I agree that men also get flack for doing activities associated with women, my answer to the original comment is disagreeing with the double standard part. I think it’s bad both ways and therefore not a double standard

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2 points

Probably mostly to do with being a woman, though even if a nerdy looking dude came in they’d probably get similar treatment. Partially just how they expect someone who “knows what they’re doing” to look like (mechanics knowledge = man in jeans)

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3 points

Also, it’s not just targeted at people perceived as “other” in many of these traditionally masculine realms.

Often, it seems like so many of these men see patronizing and second guessing as the only ways to establish and defend their own credibility on their given subject. It’s not just the “oh it’s a woman/someone who doesn’t look the part…I bet they don’t know what they’re doing” factor, it’s also that they’re a product of the culture that tells them that the most important thing is that they’re perceived as more knowledgeable than anyone else, and that the only way to establish that is to have their own opinions and views on every subject in the field, and then aggressively defend and promote those views while dismissing, undermining, and discouraging any views that conflict with theirs…or the people who hold those views.

And it’s not just big picture “world view” type stuff. It’s crap like, “which brand makes the best widget in your hobby?”. If they’re a “brand red” guy, they feel the need to not only let everyone know that they like brand red…they have to let everyone know that brand red is the best, and that it’s objective, and that if you prefer brand blue, you’re just a clueless newbie who hasn’t learned yet. If you like brand green, well you’ve just been taken in by their marketing. And if you’re one of those brand orange people, well you know what they say about those people…

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1 point

Are you sure those home renovation workers weren’t trying to make conversation, might even being bragging about their own project attempts and you being a women had nothing to do with how they interact with any other customer?

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2 points

I can never be sure, I’m not inside their heads, but I don’t remember ever seeing this behavior directed at my husband or dad when tagging along with them in similar situations.

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10 points

Disagree but upvoting because I’m sure this is true for some.

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10 points

As a man, I have never gotten any shit for sewing. But I do give plenty of people shit for not sewing.

Fix your clothes people, a needle and thread are not that freaking complicated. You don’t need to learn how to use it, just push the needle through the fabric, you’ll figure it out.

Sure, with practice you can make it prettier, but whatever.

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9 points

People who think that are creepy and weird.

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-1 points

They are also the majority.

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9 points

I sew and bake and no one ever says anything negative about it. It’s usually a topic of conversation. And back in the day when I had been called gay for enjoying baking by some insecure guy or weirdo girl I just laughed it off. Because it was usually after they finished eating a delicious treat I made and brought into the office or something.

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9 points

OK there are some “feminine activities” where people would bat an eye but sewing and baking? Lmao I don’t think anyone would care.

Except if you fuck up making cookies, like me last week 😭

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2 points

haha, woo! those are some hockey pucks!

i get eyes a-fluttering anytime either is brought up, but it’s good you have faith in your community.

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