Oh who am I kidding; I’m still this face right now

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13 points

Star Citizen shit makes me so mad. If a tiny fraction of what they’ve promised actually existed as a functional cohesive game it would probably be sick. When I first heard about SC I was obsessed with it, how could you not be? I know this is the oldest grift in vidya games, but at least Peter molyneux delivered a fun game, if it was a shadow of what was promised.

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14 points

The primary obstacle to Star Citizen actually coming out and doing even a fraction of what it promised to do was always Chris Roberts himself.

Freelancer wouldn’t have launched at all if he wasn’t booted out of that project after years of feature creep and micromanaging clownfuckery.

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4 points
*

Freelancer was only in development for six years too (with Roberts for ~4 years)

At this point I think the only option would be to bin everything and start over

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5 points

Star Citizen could have been a decent game if it didn’t feature creep itself year after year after, and had some compromises like instanced landing zones and none of that bedsheet wrinkling simulation shit.

It was still masturbatory space Roman fascism with 90s shopping mall characteristics as a setting, unless that was thrown out too (yes please).

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12 points

but at least Peter molyneux delivered a fun game, if it was a shadow of what was promised.

I can’t forgive Molyneux’s smug enlightened centrist sermonizing on the Fable sequel that had an doomsday scenario that required a moderate amount of cruelty to the kingdom to win because of money requirements, and any attempt to raise money without an enlightened centrist amount of evil would just raise the bar of how much money has to be raised until you learn how to be the Adult In The Room that Makes The Hard Decisions and Gets Shit Done.

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7 points

Fable 3 fumbled so fucking hard, it’s honestly remarkable. Almost every vaguely fun feature from the earlier games is made tangibly worse, from emoting to leveling progress, to the story being absolute dogwater. Hell, I think the worst sin by far was “Wot if instead of a menu like a normal video game we made you load into a whole separate instanced location” with John the decrepit old boomer racist fucking Cleese as your butler.

Funnily enough, when I played through the one time I ever played it I managed to avoid the ending crises by being just so stupidly rich ahead of time and realistically by that point all the ‘decisions’ were made pretty moot. The sudden time-skips didn’t bother at all because I just wanted shit to be over.

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