Some people never really learned DND either, but kind of get carried along by the group. I feel like you could switch out systems on those people and they wouldn’t do any worse.
But I get it. Some people are more casual. Some people have executive dysfunction. My current strategy is to find people who want to play what I want to play, and it’s working okay. Still makes me a little sad that DND is so mega popular, but okay.
I also feel like D&D is kinda hard to learn and has decades of terminology and baggage that contribute to that. Ah well
It’s one of the hardest to learn, imo. 5e is very inconsistent and has a lot of rules even if they suck. Heck, if i had more confidence in wotc I’d say they deliberately designed 5e to make people feel this way, Pathfinder is far more consistent and WoD takes all of five minutes to learn how to play!