cross-posted from: https://slrpnk.net/post/13303130
Company-wide email: “We had our best year EVER and it’s all thanks to YOU!”
Me: “Great. Can I have a raise?”
“Oh, we can’t afford THAT.”
I once worked in a division of ~3500 employees, every year the division produced two profit forecasts one called “pessimistic” and another called “optimistic”. My first year the division made $335 million MORE than the optimistic forecast so the division CEO approved every employee a $335 bonus.
The next year it happened again but only $285 million, so $285 bonuses that year.
Both times I scoffed and quietly pointed out to the delighted Boomers I trusted that it was less than one third of a percent of the total money.
The next year apparently the corporate office found out, fired said CEO and quashed the bonuses forever. Apparently the distribution of the crumbs was more than they could handle.