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I just remember the time I was playing my evil cleric in a campaign, we had just leveled up and I just got access to the spell Death Touch. I was itching to try it on something but the rest of the party (all good guys) was being super extra cautious as usual, despite everyone being a min-maxed fucking monster and shouldn’t be flinching from fighting, and somehow my character was left alone with the NPC that was feeding us our quests.

β€œI cast death touch on the old man.”

β€œβ€¦Are you sure?”

I glance at my notes checking the goals given to me by my own God, from the DM at the very first session. He knows I am evil, he encouraged me to play this character because he fucking loves him for some reason, and had tasked me with just causing chaos as a follower of Cyric does.

β€œFuck yeah I’m sure.”

I assume he was only warning me because this dude should have been super high level, but I was also a min-maxed monster and had a +31 charisma bonus. And he rolled a 1 on the saving throw.

β€œYou touch the old man and he screams sharply before cumpling to the ground like a sack of bricks.”

β€œDo we hear that?” Says our Lawful Stupid paladin who has been metagaming the entire time to try and out me as being evil.

β€œYes.”

β€œI sprint back to see what’s going on.”

Several failed sense motive checks on his part later,

β€œI’m telling you, he just had a heart attack or something.”

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