Hi comrades, want to give you all an informal update on the discussions around the site’s misogyny problems that’ve been happening over the last several days. I wanna make sure you know that the admin/mod team has seen all of that discourse and we’ve been actively discussing solutions in the matrix mod chat. We’re taking this shit very seriously and acknowledge that we haven’t used a heavy enough hand on misogynistic rhetoric. As some of you saw we nuked that cheating thread from a couple weeks ago and handed out temp bans to the most egregious offenders. Idk how that was allowed to run it’s course but we apologize for that oversight. We’re going to do better.

We’ve come up with some ideas for how to improve this part of the site culture and we want to get suggestions from y’all as well, since the alarm was sounded on this by our beautiful c/traa posters to begin with. Our ideas so far include:

  1. A zero-tolerance policy towards any even remotely misogynistic/patriarchal posts or comments, as too much has slipped through the cracks on that, establishing a clear protocol for bans for violating rules against misogyny, and ideally tracking repeat offenders in a way that makes deciding a course of action easy when they reoffend.

  2. Uphold TC69 thought by starting up a book club (and hopefully more to follow) on feminist theory and encouraging mass participation, particularly from the he/him’s on the site. “The Will to Change” by bell hooks has been suggested by multiple people as a great starting point but please feel free to suggest any other works.

  3. Relaunching /c/menby with a trusted educated mod team and a specific focus on countering mainstream narratives about masculinity, relationships and sex that breed reactionary, patriarchal attitudes

  4. Encouraging [namely femme] participation in /c/womenby and taking steps to revitalize that sub as an excellent source of discussion on feminism and intersectionality

  5. Holding another mod drive to get more folks into mod positions in our communities who can help weed out reactionary attitudes

  6. Encouraging users to use the report button often on any post that seems even remotely sus, with the promise that no one’s going to be punished for “report abuse” for reporting posts in obvious good faith

Please let me know your thoughts on the above or any other ideas you have for making the site better, safer and more inclusive for our femme comrades. Once we’ve fully hammered out plans and updated policy we plan to make an announcement post highlighting these changes for the whole userbase. Thank you all for being here and being who you are

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24 points

And also, we are quick to say “a husband has the right to know” without realizing that very statement upholds patriarchy and the husbands ownership of his wife

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28 points

A wife also has the right to know if her husband is cheating. It’s not about ownership, it’s about STDs. Everyone is entitled to make informed decisions about who they have sex with.

I know situations can be complex but safe sex and informed consent is the backbone of the LGBTQ+ community and I don’t think we should throw it away to get some extra dunks.

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14 points
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11 points

Can’t really know if it’s safe honestly- you’d have to know the guy very well, but then this type of thing wouldn’t happen if you knew him well. I would just leave it be and break things off.

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7 points
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7 points
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problem is we dont have to worry as much about the man being beaten to death by the female partner (unless context signals that we should)

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5 points
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17 points

Idk if this is the right thread to relitigate this point of view >.>

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16 points

My apologies then,I did not wish to stir up anything

I can delete the comment if that is the case

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8 points

Well,I did not agree with how it was handled even when making that initial comment,but I worded it very poorly

Please inform me if I need to delete the comment in case it ends up creating any unneeded discourse

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1 point
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