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43 points
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Go into the office and waste every resource you can.

Plug in a fan + heater + aquarium + massage pad at your desk and leave everything on constantly even when you leave

Print every email and throw it in the trash.

Make coffee 50x a day and pour it down the sink

Flush a whole roll of TP every hour

Leave sinks on in the bathroom

Use entire tubs of soap to wash your hands

Turn on the microwave for hours at a time

Heat/cool office thermometer to force HVAC into overdrive

Open new browser windows until your computer crashes and repeat until the network goes down

Company wide meme emails that everyone participates in (team building) that crash servers and dominate inboxes

Pour sugar/crumbs everywhere so there’s pest problems

FORM A UNION

(nuclear option) introduce bedbugs to all your bosses offices

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22 points

This guy RTOs.

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48 points

Ok waste paper, mhmm, coffee, yep, microwave, good thinking—

FORM A UNION

Woah, woah calm down Satan.

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21 points

You forgot the most important one: deliver just enough to not get fired, but way less than you did before RTO. Then point to the stats and show the massive productivity drop after RTO.

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8 points

All that stuff together is probably only one salary per team, except for the Union. I think the Union is the winning idea.

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3 points

Bedbugs in executive offices is best. Make them feel the pain.

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2 points

FORM A UNION

Ok Tyler Durden, that’s about the only reasonable proposal.

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