A colleague of mine always got debt collection calls for someone else. Several times per day, sometimes several times the hour. I asked them, if they know how to block the number, but they just liked to curse at them or troll them. Especially since the calls (presumably) originated from a real company that just didn’t want to believe them, that they’re not the person theyre trying to reach.

I remember back in 1998 I held a scammer on the line for 2 hours. He could tell I was a teenager, so he said he’d wait for my mom to come back on the line.

So I just watched yu-gi-oh, and jackie chan adventures while smoking pot. So for 2 hours this dude had a conversation with me about kids cartoons, and which console was better, ps1, or N64?

Then I was in mid-word when I just hung up. When he called back immediately I answered as an old womans voice, and feigned dementia. For another 2 hours I answered all his questions blatantly falsely. He asked my social security number, and I answered 8675309. When he said thats not enough numbers I said “Yes that’s right.” And he said “no, that’s not enough…” and I said “Yes, that’s not enough, they need more!”. He says “No, what is your social security number?” And I said “Oh, my social…there are 4 of them. Yes, Billy, Johnathan, Crystal, and Chuck! But they’re grown now. They have kids of their own. Lets see, there’s Hank. He’s into trains. Have you ever heard of Lionel trains? We’re getting him one for Christmas. But don’t tell anyone! It’s a surprise!”

He was getting mad the whole time. He kept trying to interupt, as I just kept making up grandsons and fake back stories.

Then he would start yelling, and I’d tell him “Now hold on, mr man! I didn’t let my late husband talk to me with such sass, and you’ll certainly be no exception! Lest I have smack that ass with my riding crop! Red and purple, your ass will be if you don’t drop the bass from your voice!”

All told, between 3 calls I wasted 5 hours of his time talking as 3 different voices.