What as a English man should I look out for on a trip to the USA.

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38 points

Don’t try to bring food. I’ve seen people stopped for smuggling meat. You’re probably okay with packaged sweets or chocolate, but you should declare it.

Don’t be fooled into thinking you can get tea if you see it offered. It may be some strange flavour, or very weak, or iced, or all three. And it will be hard to explain that you want milk and sugar with it.

Biscuits are good enough, but chocolate is rough.

And, of course, a “biscuit” will mean a type of savory scone.

If your shop, at most stores they will pack shopping bags for you and are a little shocked and overly grateful if you do it yourself.

Be prepared to tip in many circumstances (but not, oddly enough, for having your groceries packed).

Be prepared to be asked about football, the Beatles, the Queen, maybe even the King.

Don’t be offended is someone attempts to do a British accent at you, it’s meant as a friendly greeting.

If driving:

Four-way stops are like roundabouts without the roundabout. But with stop signs.

Pedestrians are not expected to look out for traffic, but are not allowed to just cross anywhere. So it balances out.

Someone has stolen the clutch pedals from all the cars.

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1 point

Can’t tell if you realize this is a shitpost

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3 points

I noticed! That’s why my reply became a semi-crazed random stream of consciousness.

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2 points
*

Much more likely to get run over in a crosswalk in the us than in Europe. American drivers don’t stop. The amount of overengineered zebra crossings in the US are crazy.

https://youtu.be/d-5A2RxgvOc

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1 point

I’d rather shite in my own hands and clap than click a YouTube thumbnail like that

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1 point

Part of the problem is that if you get a green light, so can go ahead or turn right, the road to your right has a “walk” sign on at the same time. So pedestrians can start crossing. In the UK a walk-sign equivalent means that “the traffic has stopped so that you can cross”.

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3 points

So glad I’m not driving

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5 points

Four-way stops are like roundabouts without the roundabout. But with stop signs.

The priority is different to a roundabout. A four way stop is ‘person who arrived at their stop line first goes first’. If two arrive at the same time the person on the right has priority.

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2 points

In my experience if 2 cars arrive at a 4 way then it’s just pure panic until someone decides to go. Drives me up a wall.

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1 point

The way I see it, hesitation is defeat. So take the initiative.

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2 points

True. But I’d sum it up as “A roundabout is a group of T-junctions. A 4-way stop is a nightmarish hellscape that relies on people paying attention and being reasonable.” A 4-way stop near a school at drop-off time is basically Mad Max. Kids crossing at each corner holding up the vehicle that should be next, people splitting into two lanes so that they can turn right out-of-turn, buses obscuring the view, people who decided that “surely it’s my turn now”…

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9 points

Quick note on this one

Pedestrians are not expected to look out for traffic, but are not allowed to just cross anywhere. So it balances out.

If you end up driving, pedestrians are not allowed to cross anywhere (although some places like New York have legalized crossing anywhere) but pedestrians always have the right of way. You can’t run people over because they crossed outside a crosswalk.

So if on foot, use crosswalks or you could get a ticket for jaywalking. If in a vehicle, don’t hit pedestrians.

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2 points

So if you cross the street, you’ll be run over, then both you and the driver get a fine.

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2 points

You can’t run people over because they crossed outside a crosswalk.

Unless they are black and poor and you drive a big truck in a southern city at night. Then, it’s just another unfortunate accident.

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5 points

You can’t run people over because they crossed outside a crosswalk.

But you can shoot them, right?

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3 points
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If you shoot them to keep them from entering the street, it’s self defense.
The pedestrian tried to attack your property by covering your car in their blood.

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1 point

Only if you do it politely and with covered chest

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11 points

The last one got me. A friend of mine from the US asked if my partner could drive a manual. I was confused at first, “can’t everyone?”

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4 points

On the reality show The Amazing Race, it’s never the rock climbing or skiing or skydiving that holds back the teams. It’s driving the manual rental car from the airport.

I drive manual in the UK but have never tried a left-hand-drive manual car, I’d probably keep hitting the door with my left hand.

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6 points

I did that all the time driving a manual in Japan and England the other way around. 🤣

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