I’ll probably stick to asking for oat milk instead of “porridge water” or whatever the new mandated name will be. To be honest I do think calling it “milk” lets them inflate the price when it is essentially porridge water.
“thin gruel” just doesn’t have the right ring to it
It just needs a bit of snazzy marketing.
Just call it Ultragruel or Oatfuel and write “PROTEIN” on it in big letters.
Actually, now I think about it, that only covers one section of the market.
You should also release exactly the same product with with different packaging a few times:
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One with an off-brand Mr T character mascot, called “I Pity The Gruel”.
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One called “Bilk : Better than Milk”.
That’s a few shelves of supermarkets covered with selling the same thing. I’m sure you can cover some more with a few like “Barista Supreme: Oat-based Cream”, “Oat Water”, “Oat Juice” and simply “Oat-based Drink”. Maybe even “Oat Blood”, for Goths and “My dad was a gruelmaker” for Keir Starmer fans.
