I’m sorry for the hardship you’ve faced and the friends you have lost to jail or death.
I don’t mean to be rude but I’m over 65 and have friends and family members that have been both on the giving and receiving end of violence, as I have been myself.
I am not unaware that my experiences may be different than others, but I also have a right to expect that people should be using their brains more than their emotions when in tough or crisis situations … if for no other reason than emotions can change on a whim vs a well-thought-through action based on facts and knowledge.