Why are you assuming that the female relative is a “need” in order to empathize and not just a way to feel closer to the problem? I think it’s fair that if you have deep connections with someone, their problems become your problems. It doesn’t mean you wouldn’t care about that if you didn’t have that connection.

Children are taught at a certain stage in their life that there are starving kids in Africa, and that they mustn’t feel too much empathy for people who they don’t know. If a kid gets depressed over conditions in foreign countries, or develops climate change anxiety, or refuses to eat meat, they aren’t encouraged. They’re either sent to a mental health professional to have their empathy recalibrated, or the adults just hope their empathy blunts over time on its own.