I keep hearing that this is frowned upon, but I cannot help it. After I share, I circle back and explain how and why I connected the two stories to try to recenter the other person. Is this annoying? How do you want ND people to respond in that case?
Not NT, but going to just say that this is one of the ways NT and ND communication differs.
It’s pretty common that Actually Autistic, ADHD and some other neurodivergent brains share relatable stories as a way to connect and empathize.
While all parties can in these situations work to better accomodate the other, ND folks are a minority and more vulnerable in their position. A NT person can ask us to not share stories and explain they just need to vent, but them getting angry at us for our relatable story sharing is not ok and is a problem that forces masking and dismisses our completely valid communication style.
Yeah, but I guess I wanna hear from someone who is NT how they perceive it when it happens. A lot of people just aren’t direct at all so I feel it would be more likely that someone would just pull away or share less with me or other people who communicate that way. I also hear this often but haven’t heard that it’s off putting directly from an NT person before so I just wanna know what goes through each person’s mind and if the way I circle back is helpful or not
I’m also interested in what NT people perceive and what the NT expectation in a situation like this is. In my mind, the story sets the theme of the conversation so it only makes sense to relate similar stories. Am I just supposed to say, “Wow, that’s awful. I feel for you.” and leave it at that?
That’s exactly why I’m puzzled about it! The standard issue responses don’t feel genuine, or like you want the other person to open up more. But I guess that’s all people want, usually. Surface shit
Pretty much. The more hollow I make my communications with NT’s lately, the better reception and response I get, but I honestly feel like I’m being rude for not trying to relate.
