checkmate Christians

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24 points
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In case you were wondering, for Santa to pass through every chimney of the houses of all those who celebrate Christmas, he must be no wider than 25 cm. However, not every house has a chimney—and technically, breaking and entering via a chimney is a crime. If Santa were caught, he might end up in jail!

AITA because I shot Santa while he was entering my house via the chimney??

ELI5 how big is Santas sack?

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19 points

I shot Santa while he was entering my house via the chimney

That sounds like a comedy premise. Santa gets shot by a paranoid homeowner and someone has to save Christmas.

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15 points

Dark and gritty Santa Clause reboot where Santa says “fuck”

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11 points

Bobby McChud shoots Santa in an instance of castle doctrine. Because of the intricacies of Christmas magic McChud becomes the new Santa. He gives AR-15’s to white children and coal to woke children. Hillary ensues.

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Hillary ensues

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17 points

I think that’s the plot to “The Santa Claus” with Tim Allen. Basically a guy catches Santa on his roof, startles Santa, and Santa slips, falls, and dies. Apparently being Santa is some kind of memetic curse, because Tim Allen is now turning into Santa against his will, experiencing all kinds of body horror as he grows a big beard, his hair turns white, and he gains stupid amounts of weight.

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13 points

A lot of houses have a chimney that’s just an exhaust for a gas furnace, not a fireplace… an interesting twist I’ve never seen an attempted explanation for

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11 points

in the Santa Clause movie Tim Allen goes down those too… as he thins out to fit into the pipe and goes down, at the bottom the wall turns into a giant fireplace, until he goes back up again and it turns back into a normal wall.

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7 points

lol that’s pretty funny and the goofy cgi makes it even better

https://yewtu.be/watch?v=Gv9c0bGEhms

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14 points

NTA your chimney your rules

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ELI5 how big is Santas sack?

NSFW?

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10 points

Santa is a wizard. I believe that answers all of the questions

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6 points

Uhm actually Santa is a sorcerer

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6 points

naw santa spends 364 days a year doing spell prep for his one big showstopper moment, def a wizard

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Oh, sure, a spontaneous caster that spends all their time in a secluded tower definitely not studying spells. Not buying it

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