And apparently, also when you think that ‘They’ is a perfectly serviceable gender-neutral singular pronoun, but are willing to use other pronouns if asked to.
EDIT: Other removable offenses on Blahaj now include questioning mod/admin decisions and quoting the modlog as a reason why you’re leaving.
I agree with the mods on this one. You don’t go into people’s spaces and tell them they’re living wrong unless they’re actively hurting other people. And at the end of the day, using a different word as a pronoun isn’t going to hurt you. Heck if you have an app you can just tag them with it.
its not the pronouns. its the excuse to behave in a manner which is tyrannical and using made up pronouns to shield you from any criticism.
these places get to a point where inclusivity becomes weaponized. “if you’re not immediately accepting of my specific demands, you’re transphobic. don’t dare ask questions. Cis scum only does that.”
there’s a fairly obvious line between the two. and this seems pretty apparently an attempt to use othergender stuff in a way to control others.
That’s not it. All pronouns are made up. There are people out there right now using Xe/Xim and they’re accepted. If you change languages the words change there too. Identity is consistently a big deal in the trans space, as seen by dead naming and conservative jokes about pronouns.
So we don’t get to make that decision anymore and honestly it’s the easiest thing in the world. They aren’t controlling me by telling me to use their pronouns, for example I can still tell them they’re wrong on an issue, I can still walk away, I can still take an ad out telling the world that person has a bad take, I can still ignore them or let them live rent free in my head. Saying pronouns control other people is ridiculous. The only thing they control is the identity of the person using them.
read what I said again. its not the pronouns. its using them as a way to weaponize what is and isn’t acceptable.
“This person dared to ask a question about how I identify myself, they’re a terf for even asking!”
“This person said Fae creatures aren’t real! i am angry at them, BAN!”
if you accept these two above examples as good and logical, then we will never agree. and frankly, defending those who behave in such a manner makes a larger divide between those that are trans or othergender and those that aren’t.
people are allowed to ask questions and try and clarify what they don’t understand. and having to remember specific pronouns for every individual on an internet forum is a completely unacceptable thing to ask.
Using a different word as a pronoun does no harm at all. Requiring that other people gender you properly is perfectly reasonable. Demanding that other people go along with calling you a dragon, and whining about it in ways that cause needless drama if they don’t, does do harm.
This whole issue has absolutely nothing to do with trans rights. The right to tell someone who you think is being ridiculous, that they’re being ridiculous, is an important right on an open communications network. Infringe on that right, and your network suddenly isn’t a good place to be anymore, because people will have their conversations non-consensually interfered with by patently ridiculous stuff which they won’t be permitted to say anything back to. On a network where quite literally the only available currency is words, that is a significant loss.
Yeah. The benefit of the decentralized fediverse is that individual smaller communities can enforce standards like this that may be unreasonable to enforce on something much larger-scale.
You’re allowed to vehemently disagree with my lifestyle choices and think that what I do and say is dumb and stupid. And there are environments where discourse calling me out for what you think is stupid is welcome. But clearly, blahaj is not that space. Most of the internet is a space where those who use neopronouns have to fairly constantly defend their use of them, and blahaj seems to have been created very specifically to be a place where such constant vigilance is unnecessary for their users.
