The article makes a similar point, overlapping with the ”the extended family we chose" argument, both of which have some merit.
However, personally I have experienced that friendships are a product of the circumstances and old friends are often only held together by nostalgia for the times when circumstances brought them together. Thus as a result of this, I think continuing friendships like described in the article isn’t that much different from finding new friendships when the circumstances allow it.
I agree with your points. Though for me a big difference has been friends I made before ~25 and friends after 25. There is no way I would want to live anywhere near friends I made before that age. Being in my early thirties, who knows how I’ll feel 10 years down the line. Doing this communal living is a big commitment which might be hard to get out of.
Same! Pre / post uni friends is the rough line for me. I have one friend from school still, a few from uni but the rest is more recent than that.
Still, I’d argue (re the previous post but my reply fit better here) that even the “nostalgia friends” aren’t any different from birth family.
Family just comes with more inherent guilt to uphold the nostalgia lol
I hear that. But my wife and I regularly debate about the role of family. I don’t know if it’s more American culture to view family as more “disposable”, e.g. they can be cut-off if toxic, etc. Being originally an (eastern) European, my mentality is that family (or blood-bonds to be dramatic) are always more serious than friends. To that end, I always thought having a large villa with multiple wings for multi-generational housing would be more appealing. My mother and wife (stereotype much?) don’t get along, so maybe a challenging proposition…
