If more people followed the lessons of the good Samaritan and the sheep and the goats, we might be better off

Also people who do a lot of backflips to justify readings where the text says “help the poor” and turn it into “don’t help the poor” are probably scumbags.

If you like that then you might enjoy the funny possible euphemism of the whole “washing of feet” thing. It could be read as the actual act of washing feet but there’s some places where it’s definitely being used as a euphemism for getting your dick wet.

That slight ambiguity could mean that the last supper included an orgy with a lot of same sex pairings - which to be fair is pretty in keeping with the MO of a lot of other cult leadership throughout history. Most of the prudish sex negative stuff comes more from Paul’s additions than directly through Jesus. But hoo boy do Christians get real mad when you imply this as a possibility.