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73 points

imagine going to jail because you just couldn’t stand the thought of not having the “best goat,” whatever the fuck that means. and no, if you know what that means, don’t tell me–i refuse to have that information wasting space in my brain

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46 points

“best goat”

Goat Of All Time

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11 points

Rip in peace poisoned goat of all time goat.

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9 points

A GOAT goat, if you will?

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5 points

The best part is that it’s recursive, like GNU.

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31 points

Vanlandingham confessed to police that she deliberately poisoned the goat because she believed the animal’s owner was “a cheater”

How do you even cheat with a goat? The whole thing is ridiculous.

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40 points
*

being in america, it’s apparent that there are a large number of people (especially in red states) for whom part of the strategy is to accuse everyone else of cheating, all the time, no matter what.

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16 points

projection

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15 points

I’m not saying they’re all the same, but 100% of the Vanlandingham’s I have met in Texas have been rotten to the core. Real sociopaths. Smiling and friendly all while planting a knife in your back. And yes there’s more than one example in my weird little anecdote. They eat their own children! (figuratively)

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15 points

How do you even cheat with a goat?

Poisoning the opposition goats, I think

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14 points

Steroids, perhaps? Do they judge how hard a goat can headbutt things? I don’t friggin’ know. Never mind.

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9 points

I severely hope the best goat is the one that commits the most crimes at the fair.

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6 points

Tell me you never attended a rural high school

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3 points

https://showgoatlife.com/

They have merch

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21 points

just as absurd as all the other bullshit animal contests that judge “contestants” based on completely arbitrary physical characteristics which lead to severely inbred, sick, miserable animals

people are so fucking stupid

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3 points

Why do I find out about these things just after Christmas? Birthday it is, then!

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