i think it’s something to do with support groups and stuff… some people just want that sense of community so bad they’ll act like they were abused to get it.

happened to me once…, was in a relationship for years, was good, broke up, stayed good friends for years… moved away… called her one day and suddenly i was abusive and the relationship was fucked up.
(i swear to god i wasn’t… barely had any arguments at all, and they were never mean or anything… her story of lying to me about me even changed over time… i think she gaslit herself)