I woke up that night from a tree branch out outside scraping against my window. Seemed like a storm was rolling in from the coast. I could just barely smell salt or something on the wind, it was humid and warmer than usual for January too.

I peeked my head out the front door to look at the sky. Full moon out, bright yellow, but obscured by some clouds. I went back inside to make a snack, now too awake to go back to bed. Popped a piece of bread in the toaster and watched idly as the coils glowed orange and hot like a campfire. I could still smell something in the air, thick and heavy. It was like I was in another world for a bit feeling the warmth of my toaster.

The pop of metal springs snapped me back to reality, my toast was ready. Perfectly crispy bread, no need for anything else. I wasn’t even hungry really, I just wanted something to occupy myself. I took my toast outside to sit on my porch and enjoy the weather before it got cold and rainy again. The wind was gone and a thick fog had poured into the valley like some kind of soup. The smell had gotten stronger as well, falling squarely between delightful and sickening. How long had it been since I came out here? Only a minute or so, I thought. The whole night felt surreal, like a dream.

Sitting on my porch, pristine toast in my mouth, I saw a dark silhouette in the distance and I could feel my stomach drop. My unease shifted to horror as the figure move into the light of a street lamp. A man holding a steaming cauldron filled with truly unspeakable horrors too filling for anyone to endure. I knew now that I had never woken up on this night, nor was I in a dream.

A nightmare that I could not escape, no matter how I tried. Like sisyphus was doomed to eternally push a boulder despite the inevitable, I too was doomed. The fate of my toast had been sealed the moment I made it, cursed to be ruined by that infernal fondue pot. I saw the person holding it clearly in that moment. The person I believed to only exist in stories:

Cheddy Blueger.

Addendum: I have no fucking clue why my brain thought this was worth writing, and honestly I tried to stop myself, but here we are. All for a dumb name pun. Thanks a lot brain.