“Quick! Hurry! Scrum! 5 minute stand up team! We need to sort this crisis out NOW!”

“Joe! The building is on fire! Move! RUN!”

“No! We need to have a meeting first! SCRUM! STAND UP! AGILE! SILICON VALLEY!!!1!!!1!! When is the next sprint!?”

Looking for a passionate, motivated team member to be part of a newly refreshed team created to replace an unsuccessful team (RIP) promoting our incredibly competitive product!

• You must have at least 40 years experience working with Windows 11.
• GENEROUS remuneration package!*
• You need to be able to work 26 hours a day 9 days per week.
• You will need to bring PASSION! ENTHUSIASM! EXCITEMENT! [synonym not found]!, and GRIT!

*as we are a small start up, we can’t afford to pay wages, but when we are successful, we promise to write your name somewhere on an archived version of our website.