Nothing kills the joy of a hobby faster than trying to make a living out of it.

It’s one of the symptoms of the SYSTEM when a kid shows talent and/or strong interest in a thing, it could be most anything, the adults that this child looks to for guidance push them to make this interest and/or talent into a career. And as soon as that suggestion takes root in that child’s head then it just time before the hobby/talent is abandoned with regret and sadness.

This may not be universal but it’s not rare either - as you know first hand.

Hope one day you can, if you want, get back to what drew you towards playing music in the first place and I hope you find joy in it for nothing more than that.