My American daughter in Morrison’s today. She didn’t know what a kilt was. She said it very loudly because she thought it was super progressive.

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26 points

Top tip: never ask a Scotsman what he wears under there because, after a few drinks, he’ll shoe you. And they’ve always had a few drinks.

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16 points

Not sure if typo or form of attack…

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15 points

He’ll literally hoof you.

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6 points

He’ll stick a shoe up your hole, for sure.

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1 point

You only have to ask?

I’m used to having to pay for that treatment.

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6 points

I don’t know where you’ve been, lad, but I see you’ve won first prize.

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2 points

I’ve been to Scotland.

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2 points

Well, gratz on winning first prize!

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5 points

I took a photo up mine to post here but somehow it buggered up the camera on my phone.

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2 points

Are you sure the phone didn’t bugger you up?

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