Were you in a big city? Mine was pretty small. I wonder if that has to do with it? I never heard the word until maybe high school or college
Really? I was in a pretty medium sized city (30-40k people, suburb of 1M+ city), and we used it all the time as kids. I have kids about the age of OP and live in a similar sized city, and I catch my kids using similar language.
I grew up in a liberal area and now live in a conservative one. It would take a lot more effort than that to get suspended from elementary school, you basically need to actually beat someone up or use drugs in school to do that.
Are you saying used the word ableist? Or the r word? I’m saying the r word was used frequently in elementary and middle school and wonder how young OP must be.
I have literally never heard “ableist” in real life.
We used the word “retard” (the R word in case it gets censored on your instance) a ton as kids to insult each other (e.g. for doing poorly at something), and I’ve heard my kids say it as well. I personally don’t see the word nearly as problematic as the n word, because I’ve literally never heard it used to insult someone with an actual mental disability (have heard “mental retardation” [censor?] to describe such a condition though), it’s only used to tease friends.
I crack down on it, but mostly because we have a few people with such conditions in our community and I’d hate for them to be offended at something my kids say off hand. I don’t see it as “ableist” or whatever, and most don’t seem to associate it with people’s actual mental development, and instead I hear “slow,” which is much less censored and IMO more offensive since it sounds like you’re trying to hide a more ugly word in the hope that they won’t understand (and I bet they do). I crack down on any potential slurs, but it wasn’t that long ago that “idiot” meant much the same as “retard” (again, potential censored r word) does now, so banning its use just retards (“slows”, if censored) that process.
I think “the left” (not sure who to point at here, but they largely seem leftist) have gone too far down the “inclusive language” rabbit hole here and often do harm than good (e.g. “latinx” is offensive because it came from English speakers, not the Latino community). Creating special terms just highlights differences instead of focusing on similarities, which IMO causes more problems than it solves. But I also don’t want to offend anyone, so I try to enforce clean language and stick to technical terms (and not academic terms that dance around the issue) for things when I’m unsure of the acceptable parlance. I’ll ask as well, e.g. I use “black” since that’s what my black friends prefer. The “right” takes things too far the other direction, so I stick somewhere in the middle and try to ask when unsure.
Nah I was in a pretty small town, semi-rural but not buttfuck-nowhere either.
It certainly wasn’t labelled “ableist” then, it was simply “being a little shit” - I only really learned of the term ableism around 10-15 years ago.
Same, but in a suburban area (suburb of major metro). Never heard of “ablism” until I found leftist communities like this online, and I grew up in a left leaning area. I don’t think I’ve ever heard the term in person, and I have kids about OP’s claimed age.
I went to catholic schools in a right leaning area, but while the term wasn’t used we did have to watch an in school video in which people with downs syndrome talked about how that word made them feel like shit and had to learn how to treat other disabled people. I think it worked because people only ever picked on me for being a loser, not for being hard of hearing.