I just got called a rapist! For asking wtf she was wearing, fashion wise. (On a non rape story just to be clear). I also wonder why I’m still here. Y’all need to be better.
Looking at the comments, I can see how your comment got misinterpreted. I do believe you had no such intention, but the way it was worded (especially the last word, ‘anyway’) makes it sound out of context as if you were victim blaming. And from the number of votes, it’s obvious many see it that way. Rather than get mad at randos on the internet, why not just reflect that you might have written that in a somewhat confusing way, and clarify it? Without escalating.
I can see. But if people have a choice to interpret something as 1) that a question about fashion is in fact an innocuous question about fashion, or 2) that he’s obviously a rapist and victim blaming and I’m going to call him a rapist (when the entire tone of the thread and community is not serious), the problem that I see is that Lemmy is quick to misinterpret in the worst way possible.
And oddly enough, he was the person to escalate with that accusation, and I was the one to explain it.
if people have a choice to interpret something as 1) that a question about fashion is in fact an innocuous question about fashion, or 2) that he’s obviously a rapist and victim blaming and I’m going to call him a rapist (when the entire tone of the thread and community is not serious)
That’s on the assumption that the reader sees both possible meanings, though. Most people don’t do that, the first meaning that comes to mind is the one we go with. It’s a very rare person that will, without external prompting, go ‘I wonder if he meant something else?’.
And oddly enough, he was the person to escalate with that explanation, and I was the one to explain it.
From his POV, you had already escalated. Yeah it was due to his misunderstanding. But at that point you were the one with a choice as to whether to nicely explain your actual original meaning, (and maybe edit the confusing line?) or just rage about everybody on Lemmy being quick to assume the worst. Nobody’s the asshole here, it was a misunderstanding, but you could have chosen to make it better :)
The context of the post: 196 which is essentially a shit posting and take nothing serious community. Yeah that context. And that it was a straight question about what she was wearing, fashion wise since you really need to hear it. So thank you for demonstrating the exact problem!
You were just joking around, right? Well, perhaps they were too. If you want it assumed about you, perhaps go ahead and assume it about then. That way, even if the former does not happen, at least you will definitely have the moral high ground regardless. Now, what was it that Obi Wan always says about the high ground…? :-P
This place just needs better moderation. I’ve said this multiple times before but there is a serious lack of moderation and most admins go dark for long periods of time. Make it clear this behavior isn’t okay, ban people who run their mouth, and remove low-effort posts.
Strong agree. Maybe we should start calling out communities with inactive mods. Like a spring cleaning of communities.
Could be a pretty easy flag to be displayed on any community. Basically last time the mod logged in or was active (should be available).
