I’m seeing some people say crazy numbers on Twitter.

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26 points

In Colorado, surrounded by the same poultry farms that gave us the first human transmission case:

Affordable grocers have had no stock for much of the last six months or so. When you can find them in stock, it’s about $5/dozen with a pre-bird flu price of around $3/dozen.

Luxury grocers have had no reasonably priced eggs in stock for the same length of time. There are sometimes one or two options for high-end eggs at $10-12/dozen. They also have cartons of liquefied whole eggs and egg whites.

Both ration eggs to 1-2 dozen per customer when they’re in stock.

Chicken-focused restaurants are either going out of business, raising prices (a breakfast burrito went from $6 to $9 at my favourite taco truck), or limiting their egg usage with intermittent shortages. Barbecue is another cuisine that has been particularly impacted since those animals are fed chicken shit from the infected poultry farms. I think we’ve lost three or four local bakeries in the past six months.

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What makes an egg “high end”?

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18 points

The yolk is orange and tastes 5x better

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4 points

tbh the biggest difference is the freshness. Getting them from a farmer’s market or your neighbor is a huge difference, plus your neighbor is nicer to their chickens than the poultry plant

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And the shells don’t crack from sneezin on em

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26 points

The conditions the chickens are kept in. Normally you can buy factory farm eggs ($2-3/dozen), cage-free eggs ($3-6/dozen) where the chickens can still be kept indoors, or free-range eggs ($6-10/dozen) where the chickens get to forage in a pasture of some sort. The factory farm conditions are what causes such rapid transmission so the only farms left are the smaller ones.

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31 points

They put a little stamp on the egg that says “Eggstra Good”

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high end eggs are eggs made specifically in colorado, where its a liberal communist wild wild west for marijuana laws. they inject the chickens with THC and the eggs come out infused with it. the liberals in colorado feed them to their kids and what does it do? makes them lazy hippies who keep voting democrat.

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10 points

Hell yeah, brother

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