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167 points
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  1. I’m sorry, but due to cultural norms the name Twitter is rooted deep within our modern language.

  2. [PERSUASION] Maybe a free little blue check will do the trick

  3. Or what?

  4. [INTIMIDATION] drop your daughter’s dead name and I’ll drop your site’s.

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17 points
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5. [ELON FANATIC] I agree, my liege. Do you need help convincing others?

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16 points

I’d delete my save if I hit this option, just to be sure.

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30 points

*roll a nat 20

“Get fucked, shitbird. I didn’t buy your bullshit even when people thought you were techno Jesus.”

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14 points

So, you’ve been playing way too much BG3 too?

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3 points

Define “way too much” please

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2 points

30 hours a day /s

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60 points
  1. [THE DARK URGE] Imagine feeding Elon to a large flightless bird.
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4 points

I very quickly learned not to trust the Dark Urge to stop at imagining the act.

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31 points
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Narrator: You imagine throwing a burlap sack over his head. His underlings would be extremely displeased with you, but he wouldn’t put up much of a fight himself.

Narrator: You can think of someone who would be extremely pleased with your offering, however.

Elon: You’re looking at me funny. Is there something you need?

  1. [THE DARK URGE] Give in to your desires.

  2. [PERSUASION] I have an investment opportunity that I think you would be interested in.

  3. Can I see your wares?

  4. No, nothing. I was just lost in thought.

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4 points

You know you’ve played the game too much when you can hear how the Narrator would read those lines.

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9 points
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I started a DU playthrough and laughed almost as hard as I alt-F4ed the first time I picked one of those fantasize options and saw what happened. 10/10 addition to the dialogue tree

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5 points

What game has “THE DARK URGE” dialogue options? I was imagining Fallout before, but this makes me think it must be some newer one.

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21 points

Baldur’s Gate 3. Go play it. Now. Sleep is for the weak.

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10 points

Dee Reynolds?

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