I think what you’re saying is completely correct and I agree completely, kids know they’re straight when they’re young, so of course it stands to reason that they know they are gay or any other thing too.
I do have young relatives who changed their mind also though, and I worry too much of you “you just know, it’s so obvious” can have a negative impact too, if a growing child decides to change their mind on what their sexuality is, they should not be worried that it might appear disingenuous or abnormal.
It can be obviously one thing at one point and later it can be obviously a new thing, sometimes it can be not obvious and that’s all fine and part of the human experience. Generally I’m saying: we should all be allowed to decide whatever we like about ourselves and our identity, and change those decisions whenever we like too.
What I’m trying to clarify is: let’s not let people changing their mind about their identity be used against the argument of you know whether or not you’re gay when you’re young.
Though I think it’s fair to say that the above post does not say “you know” but rather “I knew”…
Anyway I’m rambling now, out of fear of being taken out of context, so I’ll stop :)
You’re absolutely correct. Some people “just know” and stay thay way, some “just know” and change, and some take a while to find out. There is absolutely no reason why that should be a problem.
My brother knew he wanted to be a doctor when he was five and he stuck with it. I’m 36 and I still wonder if I chose the right profession. Why is this considered normal for what you want to work with but not who you want to be with?
this is what bothers me so much aboit the “born this way” narrative. living is changing and experimenting. trying to galvanise people into one specific identity for life is just another face of cis-heteronormativity. we need to be free to be our authentic selves in every moment, as we feel in that moment.
A lot of narratives like “born this way” are oversimplified by design so cishet people can begin to comprehend it. And sometimes they can’t even understand that.
They were “born that way,” but some people take a while to figure out what exactly “that way” is.