One time, when I was working at a summer camp as a specialty staff, my coworker/roommate who I barely talked to and barely knew randomly pulled out his switch and asked me if I could do a part of Celeste he was stuck on. I said sure, and did it for him, but then asked why he asked me in particular. He just said I ‘seemed like the type of guy to have beaten Celeste’. I haven’t started socially transitioning, so I don’t know where that vibe came from, and I still think about it
Since I was small I infrequently (maybe once in a few years) enter a dissociative state for 5-10~ minutes where I can’t visualize things correctly, like if I form a mental image of a person their hands and feet will balloon out of proportion. Had an anthropology teacher that was describing it and I never knew it was something that happened to other people, figured I has a tumor pressing on my brain or something.
I had one episode during a period of intense stress and anxiety. It was so goddam intense and scary, which only fed it and made it worse. I’d see the same person simultaniously far away and right up on my face, space wouldn’t make any sense and time was all choppy. It was made worse by the fact that I had to go attend to a thing as it was happening.
It all got bad to a point that I started getting what I think must have been psychotic symptoms (even though I was mostly aware that it was all coming from my head). I thought the signs were all talking directly to me (a “🤫 silence” sign got me all jittery) and people’s eyes were all in HD and violent.
I started treating anxiety in that same week and I’m all good now, years later.
