more people need to know that feminism is for everyone, and that it’s not necessarily against anyone. if feminism feels against you, the question becomes what is it about you that feminists find harmful. and i want to make it clear, i don’t jive with everyone who calls themselves a feminist. i’m not on board with TERFs and i’m not on board with #GirlBoss feminists who present feminism as some form of neo-patriarchy in a similar vein to neo-colonial approaches to racial justice where we do colonialism from a place of revenge. and before you say this stance is an attack on traditional masculinity, understand that no, it’s just a critique of toxic masculinity. there’s a difference. the difference is Tim Walz and JD Vance. both are really good examples of these two kinds of masculinity. Tim Walz is really and truly into “guy” stuff. he likes hunting, he coaches football, he’s the breadwinner for his family. none of us are bothered that he’s all those things. why? because he doesn’t want to dictate to anyone what it means to be a man. do you know who does? JD Vance. none of us are bothered he wears makeup, looks like he’s never done a day’s work in his life, or that he fucked a couch. we’re bothered that he doesn’t take accountability, promotes a singular version of performing masculinity, and that that version of masculinity includes inflicting harm on others. arguably even, Tim Walz is more traditionally masculine than JD Vance. but still, he’s the one feminists respect and appreciate.

i desperately hope this reaches someone. i hope someone reads this and it starts them on a journey. waking up from false consciousness is the hardest thing to do, and the only real way to do it is to go out and befriend people the system treats worse than you, and to really listen to what they have to say. and i don’t just mean hear. i mean come in with not just an open mind, but an open heart. come with a notebook if you have to. treat them like the subject of an interview, but also treat them like a respected and loved family member. and if they say they aren’t the ones to teach you something say, “i understand. can you direct me to some good resources so i can start shifting my perspective. i obviously haven’t been exposed to this”

because ultimately that’s the thing. we are all products of our lived realities. and all of our lived realities include hegemonic propaganda that tells us patriarchy, racism, capitalism, and nationalism are all inescapable natural realities when they are not. we evolved empathy for a reason. our emotions toward others are our antidotes. think about that the thing that comes up in WWI diaries that haunted surviving soldiers the most was what they found in enemy trenches: not monstrous brutes, but instead young boys, just like themselves, trying to survive. they felt that way, they felt that horror, because the violence of this system benefits a select few, so the system must subvert our own best interests. when they felt that horror they were experiencing the confrontation of the cognitive dissidence the terror of the violence of the system instills in all of us. they were on the edge of realizing that the root cause of WWI, nationalism, is a big dumb stupid tool that keeps any of us from ever breaking free