I don’t think people even pay much attention to voice when they perceive gender when they have visual feedback instead and in personal interactions social habits and preconceptions define most people’s approach to gender performance more than anything you do frankly. Center your experience on your own self-actualization in a way that’s pleasant to you and people who would understand you will perceive you in how you express yourself in your own language.
My mom told me that she never noticed my voice change, even though I tried to make it as obvious as possible for her. Cis people’s perception is just completely different than ours.
I think most people’s view of gender and social expectations of its performance are just very unexamined, because they never have cause to examine it and when they are presented a cause such as trans or gender non-conforming people their reaction is confrontational and defensive about their basic assumptions which they never challenge.
I actually think a lot of people who are not themselves trans or gender non-conforming but accepting of those tend to also be accepting broadly but not understanding of these performances or nuances that are constantly reaffirmed through social interactions and can require deconstruction to properly perceive and present.
I am myself cis-male but despite occasionally being confused for a girl in my teen and young adult years it took me until my mid 20s and interacting with trans people to see.
Is your mom someone you see often? I only noticed how much my boyfriend’s voice had changed from testosterone after watching an old video of him, so I think maybe changes like that can be harder to notice if you spend a lot of time together.
Yeah, every week. But mine didn’t gradually change over time. One time I pretty much instantly switched between my normal voice and the whiniest valley girl impression I could muster, and she just said that I sound bitchy, but she didn’t notice the changed resonance at all. Really weird.
![[CW: misgendering] why do i even bother with the voice training(hexbear.net)](https://hexbear.net/pictrs/image/b059ee30-911c-463d-967c-609556f5b665.png){kind=link}