Here’s my two cents. It’s hard for people to keep up with the euphemism treadmill. There was a time when the word “female” didn’t have the negative connotation that it does now mostly thanks to co-opting by incels. It should also be stated that the word “male” doesn’t have the same negative connotations and it’s similar to how there’s slurs for black people but none for white people.
So why do people find “female” offensive? Well for starters it’s dehumanizing. Women is a less academic term and female implies some biological essentialism. I think the crux as to why it’s a big deal now is that women do not refer to themselves as females in the manner that men do. Men do not think of themselves as males, they do not call other men males, men call themselves men. male and female are simply outdated terms.
I suspect one day as society moves towards a more genderqueer position men and women will become unacceptable to say too. Idk. Like I think we need to acknowledge that there is such thing as a euphemism treadmill, that languages change, words become offensive or nonoffensive over time, and like all we can do in order to be a fucking decent human bean is to conform to society’s standards as to what is acceptable as according to the treadmill. Unless it’s some shit like calling the homeless, the unhoused. Then in those specific instances we got to run against the treadmill. But in this specific instance, we need to run with the treadmill on this one. Nothing feels better than conforming with society.
You could be correct about times changing. A few years ago I was reading research papers on various topics, and words like r#####d and n####o were used with full seriousness. Even if it’s silly that it came to this, it’s what it is, and there’s no point fighting it.
The r word does actually have a meaning, often in scientific literature, the definition I found was: to make slow; delay the development or progress of (an action, process, etc.); hinder or impede.
I’ve seen used rarely in evolutionary biology, a professor I knew used to love saying “we (humans) are retarded corals” which refers to all bilaterians (animals with bilateral symmetry) evolving from a regression where corals would stay in their juvenile state, which is basically like a plankton. However, now that I think about it, I have sneaking suspicions he actually just liked shouting that in a lecture hall. Even the idea of saying the world I find unpleasant. You also have the case where it used in a similar way to “repellent”, eg. “This chair is made from fire r****dant fabric.” I do definitely think it is a bit archaic and there are much nicer terms without all of the baggage that can be used instead.
The n word on the other hand, I had no idea was still being used.
