Can I please just get a car, instead of a rolling computer / infotainment / privacy nightmare?

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Sorry I don’t see any indication that this was from the interior camera, only the exterior cameras recording public spaces (dashcam)

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From the article you linked:

In its Customer Privacy Notice, Tesla explains that if a customer agrees to share data, “your vehicle may collect the data and make it available to Tesla for analysis. This analysis helps Tesla improve its products, features, and diagnose problems quicker.” It also states that the data may include “short video clips or images,” but isn’t linked to a customer’s account or vehicle identification number, “and does not identify you personally.”

So (1) it is opt-in specifically, and (2) that article is taking about the external cameras.

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