NORFOLK, VA—In a new campaign featuring several graphic images of the animals falling from 30,000 feet in the sky, People For Ethical Treatment Of Animals released an ad Thursday that seemed to imply that throwing horses out of planes was a common practice. “How do you think he feels about your in-flight entertainment?” said the ad, which heavily suggested that the ritual of hurling horses from commercial airlines and watching them fall to the ground and die occurred fairly regularly, if not daily. “Hey, Chris Pratt, would you do this to your dog? What if Seabiscuit pushed you out of a plane? It’s not just humans who deserve parachutes. When it comes to throwing horses out of airplanes, just say ‘neigh.’” At press time, PETA released a follow-up ad implying that horses being thrown from planes was also making humans obese and impotent.
C-130 rollin down the strip,
64 ponies on a one way trip,
Mission clop secret, destination unknown,
Don’t even know if they’re ever prancin home.
Stand up, hook up, trot to the door,
Jump right out at the count of four,
If my main don’t open wide,
It’s likely because a horse was not designed for the parachute and this resulted in a disaster.
